Where DO babies come from?

When I asked her where babies come from, Mama said, “Go ask your Daddy.” So, I asked Daddy, who replied, “Go ask your Mama.” My retort was, “But, she told me to ask you,” to which he answered, “Well, I’ll talk with her about it and let you know what we figure out.”

Mama said, “I’ll teach you to talk back to me!” I wondered, “Why the lessons? I thought I already had it pretty well down pat.”

Mama said, “I’m not going to chase after you to give you this spanking.” I thought, “Well, good, then I won’t have to run.” After the spanking, I pondered, “You said this spanking. Am I to assume that means all future ones, too?”

 

 

Wipe that look off your face

When I pouted, Mama said, “You better wipe that look off your face.” Foolishly, I asked, “With what?” She didn’t have to chase me down to give me that spanking. Rather, she grabbed one arm and we did the circle dance. I ran in place, with her other hand swatting my butt.

Mama said, “I have told you not to talk with your mouth full, haven’t I? Well, haven’t I? Answer me!” It was quickly apparent this was a no-win situation.

Mama said, “He’s still your brother, I don’t care how much you hate him.” Then she’d say, “And she’s still your sister, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Just don’t kill each other.”

Mama said, “Don’t just stand there with your teeth in your mouth. Say something.” Daddy could take his teeth out of his mouth, but I didn’t have that trick mastered.

 

Nickel Coke

Mama said, “Cokes have gone from a nickel to six cents a piece. I swear, I’m never buying another one. Do they think we are made of money?” I only attempted to imagine a world without Coca Cola, or human beings covered in dollar bills and quarters.

 

Mama said, “Lordy mercy.” When things became terribly tense, Mama said, “Good Lord, have mercy on my soul and body.” On occasion she’d exclaim, “Oh, my stars and garters!” I still haven’t figured that one out. . .

Mama said, “I love you, Sis. Night-night, sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

I’m interested. What did your Mama say that was prolific, or raised your curiosity?

Happy Birthday, Mama. We still miss you!

  1. Recommended by professionals:

    Plain Talk About Spanking
    by Jordan Riak
    http://www.nospank.net/pt2010.pdf

    The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
    by Tom Johnson
    http://nospank.net/sdsc2.pdf

    NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
    by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD
    http://nospank.net/taylor.htm

    Most current research:

    Spanking Kids Increases Risk of Sexual Problems
    http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2008/feb/lw28spanking.cfm

    Use of Spanking for 3-Year-Old Children and Associated Intimate Partner Aggression or Violence
    http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/126/3/415

    Spanking Can Make Children More Aggressive Later
    http://tulane.edu/news/releases/pr_03122010.cfm

    Children Who Are Spanked Have Lower IQs
    http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2009/sept/lw25straus.cfm

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