...but what does GOD say?

On a consistent basis I get the same question: “Is God punishing me with domestic violence?” 

Let me say this as clearly as I possibly can.


I stand on this statement unequivocally, and am firmly convinced it is scriptural. God punishes sinners. Domestic violence is a sin. You are the victim, not the sinner. God is a loving God, and He does not get His jollies by setting innocent victims up to be verbally assaulted, emotionally attacked, battered, abused, molested or raped.

First, we need to stop making excuses for the attacker’s behavior:

“But, he said he was sorry. Maybe this time he really meant it.”

“He only gets that way when he is stressed out or drinking.”

“God is punishing me because I was pregnant when we got married.”

“Maybe I should pray harder, or have stronger faith.”

“He doesn’t really mean to act this way. He just loses his temper sometimes.”

“I should not have talked back. I brought it on, I deserved it.”

All I can give you is honesty. Many years ago I decided to learn how to keep it real and continue in that manner for the rest of my life. So, honestly, I do not have all the answers. Heck, I don’t even have most of the answers. But, I do have a few.

While it does not make it any easier to accept or live with, the sheer fact is, life happens and there are some terribly bad people that may become a part of our life. I realize every story does not have a happy ending. I know there are graves occupied by innocent women, children and even men who were victims of domestic/intimate partner violence or were killed at the hands of a rapist.

I also know there are agencies and organizations that have been specifically established to help victims of abuse and assault. I know they truly care and want to help. I know that I am dedicating a large portion of my life to being one of those extending a hand to hurting, beaten, battered, bruised or emotionally trashed victims. I know God does have all the answers, and maybe not on this planet during our lifetime, but some day in the future, we will be able to ask all the questions we want. He will be more than glad to answer each of them, in detail, as He holds us in His arms for all eternity. He does not want to see us hurting any more than our family and friends want to see us in pain.

No, God is not punishing you. Yes, there are alternatives and solutions. Seek, and ye shall find. You can start by going to the Victim Support page on my website. In the meantime, I promise to say a prayer for you, that you will find peace, safety and security.

Listen to Carolyn’s interview with Cynthia Brennen, on “Help, Hope & Healing.” Visit her Everyday Health blog, Emotional Wellbeing, or her website at orangeblossomwishes.com.

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