There is a common misconception that domestic violence is basically the result of a bad temper, or a need for some “simple anger management.” Do not be deceived. The root of domestic/intimate partner violence is the need for power and control. The more an abuser feels their power and control being threatened or usurped, the more likely they are to lash out, and with even greater aggression.

Which 1 in 3 will it be? Your daughter, your wife, your mother?

One in three women will be victimized by some sort of domestic violence during her lifetime, and only 26% of victims actually report the attacks. Reports are everywhere that domestic abuse rates are increasing as a direct result of the state of our economy. Those reports also tell us the violent behavior is escalating, becoming more brutal than before, also because of the economy. Fewer women are willing to speak out or report the abuse. Middle-aged and older women who did choose to break free are now part of the homeless in society, and that number continues to grow, as well. How many were once wives and mothers, financially stable, living in nice homes, only to be threatened with, “If you leave, I’ll see you living on the street,” and are now living out that very existence?

No, spouse abuse and domestic violence are not simply results of a bad temper. They are brought about by insecure individuals who are convinced they simply must retain power and control over someone. If they lose their power and control, they see it as emotional castration, an attack on their masculinity. Real men do not need to own their woman—rather, they co-exist in a loving relationship with their woman, one that is built upon trust, honor and respect from one another for one another. I have come to know firsthand that there is nothing quite like a relationship wherein both parties are happy and content—together.

50 years later - a first date and then marriage

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