Cut a pie in half. Now, cut each half in half. You have four portions. Place each of the three slices on a pretty china plate. But wait, what about that fourth piece of pie still in the pan, sitting all alone, surrounded by residue with nowhere to go? Pierce it a few times with a fork. Hit it with a large spoon. Not so pretty, is it? This should give you a better idea of the ratio of women in America who either have been or will become a victim of domestic violence.

 Look out the window. Pick four houses in your neighborhood. Which one is the home filled with domestic violence? How often do we hear on the news, “This happens in other families, not ours,” or “I had no idea this was going on right under our noses.” Can you imagine how devastating it must be when that 1 woman is either beaten or shot to death? “Well, we always heard a lot of yelling come from the house, but they pretty well kept to themselves. I can’t believe a murder took place so close to my own home.”

 Better yet, imagine your mother, sister, daughter and wife sitting for a portrait. Grab a pair of scissors and decide which one you want to cut out of the picture. Yes, there are four women, and statistics say one of them has been or will become a victim. But wait! You can’t imagine one of those precious four women being abused. Neither do most other families, but our failure to recognize it doesn’t make it any less existent. When the wind blows, we can’t see it, but its effects are surely there. Trees sway, leaves are blown to the ground . . . So, here I am, encouraging all of you readers to become very aware of the wind of abuse as it blows. Look for the evidence. You can find all sorts of helpful hints and tools throughout the “Domestic Violence” section of this blog. I entreat you to read them, and put them to use. The chances are very great that you are the 1 in 4. If so, I am so sorry for your circumstances, but you, too, may find help in the other posts here.

 At any rate, if you are the 1, or 1 of the other 3, together we can save lives, and just maybe keep that whole pie intact. Can we count on you to help?

Carolyn is an advocate for sexual/domestic violence and assault awareness, also focusing on child sexual abuse. She is a Life Direction & Empowerment Coach, working with victims and survivors of molestation, sexual assault, domestic violence or spousal abuse, and bringing training to organizations seeking to help victims. Listen to Carolyn’s interview with Cynthia Brennen, on “Help, Hope & Healing.” Visit her website:

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