It was THAT day, THAT Easter, I came to the realization that I had a choice to make. Which was greater? My fear of trying to escape this prison or my desire to have a whole, healthy life? Was I going to let the fear control me forever, or was I finally going to try to break free and get back to being the real me I had lost some 16 years prior? I had been awakened to the fact if left to its own devices, I, too, could become another statistic at the hands of domestic violence, and it could take my life, either emotionally and mentally or, quite possibly, end in my death. I devised a plan and began working it. There was the process of gaining an injunction for protection through the court, the fear of how in the world I was going to make it, being a stay-at-home mom with no income of my own, yet a mortgage, car payment, utilities, groceries… But, I grabbed every ounce of courage I could muster and chose to be safe and whole. I had faith to believe my children and I would not be put out on the street. Looking back in retrospect, I now realize my family would never have let that happen. Well, when you are in the throes of your own situation of domestic violence, one of the most difficult things is thinking straight! But, I focused and stayed focused, working my plan.
Please know this – spouses, too, can be victims of rape. I can’t say it enough: GET HELP! All victims of domestic violence need a plan of escape. You also need to know that now, 25 years later, there is a plethora of resources available to help. Many links are on my website, and many others have been mentioned in other Emotional Wellbeing posts. I strongly recommend if you are undergoing any sort of abuse or spousal battery, please review the other posts and PLEASE contact one of the agencies in your area. There are shelters not only here in the Tampa Bay area, but in your locale, as well. The Family Justice Centers Alliance is an international organization there to help victims around the world.
So, it is no wonder I now refer to Easter as truly “Resurrection Sunday,” for it was then I not only began to repossess my life and my sanity, but it was the next fork in the road that would eventually lead me to the place where I am today – an advocate and spokesperson for domestic violence and child abuse/molestation awareness. Getting from there to here was not easy and it took a long time. I’ve done quite a bit of catching up, though, for in two short years my book has been published, opportunities to meet and share with other victims have opened, and many roses of life have bloomed. I am now able to share the sweet fragrance of freedom, faith, hope and wholeness with others.
Have a blessed Easter!
See Carolyn’s interview on ABC Action News Positively Tampa Bay Emmy award winning program, “Taking Action Against Domestic Violence.” (In looking back, I misstated the year on this interview. I began counting, realized it has been 25 years, and that compelled me to share this landmark in my life!)
Visit Carolyn at her website:orangeblossomwishes.com
Alcohol - A known companion of domestic violence, abuse and potentially, murder and manslaughter.
Charlene says:
I was not only sexually molested but I suffered from violence in my home where hitting and belittling was normal and encouraged. For most of my adult life I was involved in abusive relationships which resulted in broken bones, deep depression and many suicide attempts. I am now 61 yrs of age and I suffer agoraphobia and ptsd. When I was being victimized there was nobody who cared and no place to go for help. Thank you for reaching out to other women who are going through this nightmare. If you save 1 woman from this hell you have accomplished a miracle.