Monthly Archives: November 2011

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – AN 11-YEAR-OLD’S COMMENTARY

I was recently approached by an 11-year-old young lady regarding my work in the area of domestic violence. She had a problem and was seeking some help or guidance in how to manage it. We talked. I shared some wisdom and information, and she set forth to resolve it─at 11 years old! She then asked…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: CAN THE LEGISLATURE ADDRESS VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE?

Yes, I’m going there. I would bet my life on the fact that not one single victim of domestic violence homicide wasn’t first abused verbally and/or emotionally. It all started with a word, a glare, a grab. . . nothing to leave outer scars, but something that would drive countless hopeless individuals to choose to…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—LOVE NEVER INTENTIONALLY HURTS OR ABUSES

So, you have finally reached the age for dating? Or maybe you were divorced and have decided to go back into the dating scene? Before you put yourself into a place that might lead to a serious relationship, give it some serious thought. In high school? Well, “You’ll do it if you love me,” is…

HOW DO I MAKE THE MOST OF MY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INJUNCTION/RESTRAINING ORDER?

Are you thinking that injunction isn’t worth the paper it’s written on? Do you wonder how you can make the most of the fact you have an injunction against your abuser? You will notice when this Order was entered on my behalf, it was an Order for a temporary ex parte “injunction.” Today they are…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND THE HOLIDAYS

I have a lot to be thankful for, and I surely do not take that for granted. But I also know, firsthand, how difficult the holiday season is for victims of domestic/intimate partner violence. My personal experience was that there would most likely be a “flare up” of violence and/or abusiveness taking place on practically…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: I NEED AN INJUNCTION

No Contact Order. . .  Injunction for Protective Order. . . Restraining Order . . . Call them what you will. Many victims of domestic violence are not even aware they are available to them. Many know they exist, but have been threatened to be killed if they involve “the law,” and that includes the…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – WHY DO I NEED AN EXIT PLAN IF I’M NOT READY TO LEAVE?

Many who are current victims of domestic violence feel preparing an exit plan (or safety plan) is premature, since they are not ready to leave the abusive relationship. After all, he hasn’t thrown any punches yet. Let me ask you this: Why do you get a flu shot if you don’t already have the flu?…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE ARE PROGRESSIVE

It is not uncommon to hear a victim of verbal or emotional abuse say, “Well, it’s not domestic violence. He’s never hit me.” Really? Do you think demeaning or threatening words don’t cause damage, too? There were many times I stood listening to the words spewing from his mouth, telling me how useless, stupid, fat…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—How Did I Get Into Another Abusive Relationship?—Part 2

After another year or two of total detachment and singlehood, I decided to try again, through the internet sites. At least my radar had finally been delivered, installed and was operative, maybe not always working at its best, but better with each new encounter. I met some real loonies, once nearly being raped, once being…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—How Did I Get Into Another Abusive Relationship?—Part 1

There it was—a picture of my Daddy walking me down the aisle to be married. It startled me to finally notice, after all those years, the look on both our faces. There was no happiness or joy on our faces. We appeared as two serious generations who seemed to be walking to a gallows rather…