Monthly Archives: September 2011

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—From “Beautiful” to Abused

Looking back, I realize I was starving for some positive attention. So, when this guy who I had never seen before crashed my party and began telling me how beautiful I was and how much he wanted to take me on a date, I was flattered. You see, at best I saw myself as average….

IS VERBAL ABUSE A FORM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

As surely as a trip starts with the first mile, or an omelet begins with breaking one egg, domestic violence starts with one word or sentence. The first occasion may consist of being told, “Shut up!” Perhaps it will soon be followed with, “Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.” The confrontations have…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—BUT A WIFE IS TO SUBMIT, RIGHT?

Taking on the meaning of scriptures and their translation can be a sticky mess at times.  Many versions of the often quoted Ephesians 5:22 tell us, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord.” Okay, so maybe Paul was using submit as one form of the verb, but we have carried it all…

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT SPOUSE ABUSE AND DIVORCE?

Countless numbers pose the question: What does the Bible say about spouse abuse? The first scripture religion likes to jump on is found in the book of Malachi, “God hates divorce” (2:16). What is usually overlooked, though, in that scripture, is his admonishment that man is not to deal treacherously with his wife. A translation…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND THE FAMILY PET

I didn’t get it when I was enduring many years of verbal and emotional abuse that whenever the threat was made to kill or harm our dog, it was a predictable red flag that domestic violence was present and at work in my life. It was also one of the primary reasons I chose to…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RATES INCREASE—IS CONGRESS PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE?

Let’s get the disclaimer out of the way: This is an editorial and the statements contained herein are pretty much the opinion of the writer, unless the shoe fits, then perhaps the responsible party should wear it. There. Now, let’s get down to business. Today I read a report that there has been a 65%…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR: YOU’RE HERE NOW BECAUSE YOU WERE THERE THEN (Making the Past a Positive)

How many times do victims of domestic violence ask themselves, “How do I get out of here?” When we become survivors, the question then becomes, “How did I get there in the first place?” After all, it makes no sense that anyone would actually set out to become the battered half of an abusive relationship,…

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—When it’s Time to Think About Leaving

Many are confronted constantly by “subtle” signs of abuse that quickly and easily lead to domestic violence. It may be time to start thinking about leaving if you find yourself saying or thinking the following about your spouse/intimate partner: He/she… Displays extreme (or even moderate) jealousy Swipes the air in front of my face, hits…

A Survivor of Domestic Violence Looks Back—But He Told Me He Loved Me

I was young, naïve, gullible and needy. I wanted someone to love me. I had been sexually abused as a child, and considered myself damaged goods. Barely 18, I walked down the aisle of the church to marry someone because he told me he loved me, and that nobody else would want me. It was…

Emotional Abuse and Domestic Violence – Partners in Crime

Emotional wellbeing? Emotional health? Just what are they and how do victims of domestic violence reach them? How do we attempt to make some sense of senseless acts in life—molestation, spousal abuse, habitual rejection, poor choices in relationships… The list may seem extensive, but if you will stick with me, I think the result will…